Change

The other day I realized something scary to a Type A planner like myself - the only thing that's constant in life is change. Change is inevitable, but it's something we struggle so hard to resist.

In life we can only look back at the past with certainty. We have no clue what the next day holds despite how much we strive to plan out every single moment. Something unexpected will always happen and deter our original, futile attempt at "plans". But what else can we do? We have no idea what's coming so the only way to cope with the uncertainty is to anticipate and structure our next steps.

My life has been in increments thus far. When you're a kid life is structured by school. You know that next year you'll be in ____ grade with ____ people in _____ town. Nothing really changes. Then you go to college and settle into your routine with classes, and friends, and football, and finals, and summers off.

Then... you graduate. And all of a sudden life hits you in the face. The rug of routine and structure you've had for the last 22 years is pulled out from under your feet and there's just this giant stretch of time sitting in front of you. I used to measure my life in semesters, but not it just seems like an endless string of years with nothing to break them up. It's honestly hard to wrap my mind around, and my structure-loving self is flipping out a little bit.

Life is much more fluid and shifting than I originally imagined. Once my Disney Internship is over and I get a steady job it's going to be week after week of working 9 to 5. It's incredibly overwhelming to think that this is how it's going to be for the rest of my life. I know I need to take it step by step, but without my semester by semester schedule I'm entirely unsure of how to go about this.

Restructuring the way I look at life is one of the biggest mental challenges I've experienced and I hope that I'll find a way to figure this next step of life out. The post-grad side of things is much more different than I originally thought, and I have a feeling things are only going to continue to get more and more confusing. Here's hoping I can embrace the changes and learn to roll with whatever life throws at me next!

Ps: Sorry for the lack of post Friday! I was moving my younger brother into his freshman apartment!

-Lanie W.